STEROIDS....WHY?

With A-rod and now Manny Ramirez found to be using steroids I find myself, along with millions of other people, asking.... "why?." However unlike most people im not asking "why would you cheat and use steroids?" or "why would you disrespect the game" ...no im askying myself "why the fuck didn't I use steriods?" Now hold your horses and think about it for a minute. What am I doing with my life right now? Im sitting at a computer, with no job, blogging. In fact, im about to go walk to the gas station to get gas for the lawnmower so I can cut the lawn in hopes that my roomates don't yell at me for sitting on my ass all day. I don't think Helen Keller would trade lives with me at this point. What are A-Rod and Manny doing? There playing baseball in front of millions of people on a daily basis. There being idolized by kids all around the world. Now I know what your thinking "but there would be an asteric next to your entire career"....asteric???? are you serious....this little fucking thing: *! Fuck I would legally change my name to Asteric Kelleher. Quite frankly I think its sort of baller. You know what, I would even build a giant statue of an asteric, and you want to know where I would put it....right next to my 200 million dollar mansion thats where. You know what the first thing ill do when I legally change my name to Asteric Kelleher is? Sign 50,000 autographs to fans who are raping people to get to the front of the line. Whats that? I will get suspended for 50 games the first time I get caught...thats even fucking better, cause you know what I will do during those 50 games. I will bring the 50 hottest women in the world to watch those games with me.

Some of you might get upset at this blog or think its this attitude thats ruining baseball but all im saying is this...If you gave me the option of my life now, or I could take steriods, be an incredible athlete, become famous, make millions, date beautiful women, and all the other perks that come with being a superstar athlete and the only penalty thats going to come out of it is a 50 game suspension when I get caught. Ill take option B everytime...all the time.

So all I have to say is ladies...eat your hearts out...


Note: I felt like Muhammed Ali trying to free hand crop that face, and as for shading in the color to make my face blend well with the body...lets just say we can also chaulk "Graphic Designer" to the endless list of things I would be unsuccesful at.