EMOTIONAL ROLLERCOASTER

So after a solid SUNDAY FUNDAY at the pub/hanger which consisted of spending about 27 dollars on video games at the bar, I have to wake up at 6:30 this morning so that I could make it to my job interview today. I made it to my job interview smelling like a brewery, bags under my eyes that looked like a went 15 rounds with mike tyson, and my voice more horse then the godfathers. The interview went well and as long as they, along with any other future employers, don't come along this blog, id say I like my chances. Anywho on the way home I drove by the Massachusetts state lottery office. Im thinking thats a sign, so I pull over at the next gas station and buy a Texas hold'em 10$ scratch ticket. Now im not claiming to be moneymaker or some big shot card player but I know the rules of poker. However for some reason I completley forgot about that little hand they call the full house. For those of you that haven't seen the ticket its basically got your two cards, the dealers two and the 5 community cards. The following is what ensued:

Hand 1:
I scratch the dealers 2 cards on the first hand...pocket 5s. My hand...8,9 of spades. I scratch the first 3 cards as though it were a real flop and I get 2 more spades. Im thinking holy shit if i get a spade i win this bitch. The last card is a spade. Im thinking fuck yeah and scratch the prize and it says $1000. You would have thought I found the cure to the AIDS or something cause I was going nuts.

Hand 2:
The dealer has 10, jack of clubs. I have 6, 7 of spades. 2 sevens and a jack come up. Im thinking bam! three of a kind beats a pair. The prize is $500. At this point im already pulling my phone out to tell people to stop what their doing cause we are going out to dinner on me.

Hand 3:
This is where things became too good to be true. In my head im up $1,500 which is already $1,490 more then goal was. Some of you might be thinking don't you mean atleast $1,480 but no, not me. I am completely satisfied with buying a scratch ticket and winning my money back and not a penny more. Its the thrill of the game! Anywho back to the game. So this time dealers got pocket queens and i got 2,3 of diamonds. Oh well you can't win them all right? wrong the first 3 cards are all diamonds....I FUCKING WON AGAIN!. The prize? 10 fucking thousand dollars. I literally jizzed in my pants.

I didn't even scratch the whole other half of the ticket, I ran into that gas station faster then Usain Bolt. I ran up to the guy behind the cash register waving the card like Charlie with his golden ticket to the chocolate factory.



Just when I thought my luck couldn't get any better this smokeshow walks in and gets in line behind me. THIS IS UNREAL!!!! When this chick realizes i just won $11,500 dollars shes gonna be all over me like bees to honey...BEES TO FUCKING HONEY I TELL YOU. I had it all planned out, I would drive immediatley to the Mass Lottery office, cash this bad boy and take this girl straight to the nearest bar. However this is the exact moment I learned a very valuable lesson:

A FULL HOUSE BEATS A FLUSH....EVERYTIME, ALL THE TIME

I felt like somebody threw my newborn baby down a flight of stairs. I mean you might as well have given me one of those fake scratch tickets cause it would have been the same result. I walked out of there feeling like the biggest idiot in the world. I then got back in my brothers car which looks like he washed with paint thinner and smells like a foot and drove away. There probably still laughing at me at the gas station right now.

P.S. my favorite line in the story was after I hand the guy the ticket I say "im pretty sure I just won $11,500 can you double check for me"

Guy who looks like he would rather be at a funeral then be working at this gas station replies "im sure you didn't but ill take a look" I was like thanks sir, way to be optimistic about it, you would make a great motivational speaker.