NOT OFF TO A GOOD START

so today is the big day, the day we leave cali and the day we start blogging. However to say we are not off to a great start would be an understatement. First were sitting at a redlight and lausier was telling me how his truck is registered but the slip says its expired. So I ask "would that matter if we had a run in with the police" he replied "lets hope we don't have to find out" as he says this, despite the light still being red, he takes his foot off the brake and just rolls right into the car infront of us. Lets just say the guy infront was not happy, he was examining his bumper like Columbo at a crime scene, like if he found a tiny scratch he was gnna sue lausier for everythign he is worth. After telling lausier how bad of a driver he is and that he needs to pay attention blah blah blah we get to drive away.

We decide to stop at a gas station to fill up before we go home to put our stuff in the car and drive. Theres a McDonalds there so I decide that since im hungover i want something cold so i get a strawberry milkshake, since its only 50 cents to go from a small cup to a fucking bucket i say sure. That was my first mistake, the second mistake was chugging it faster than an ethiopian kid having his first gatorade. The second i walk in the door i have to shit. Normal shit...i must be good right? WRONG. we head out on the road, 17 hours straight shot to colorado springs, my stomic starts rumbling hardcore. felt like i swallowed 15 packs of pop rocks. Thankfully we decide to stop at one of lausier's friends house so he could say goodbye. I immediatley B-line it to the bathroom and just go to town on this toilet. however since i don't really know the kid i make it quick. we get back in the car and the rumbling comes right back and worse. I tell lausier he has to pull over, NOTE: we are about 3 minutes into the drive. I run into the gas station looking like i was running on eggshells. I get to the mens room and its locked, i wait as long as I can and then say fuck it and go into the womens room and just piss out of my ass. After a handful of rolaids i think im good...for now

-Good Talk; Kelleher